No Change, Please

Man :  

I believe you.

I believe that the tea you made

Scalded my tongue. 

Woman :  

If cynicism is such a beautiful 

Game, wouldn't you be better off

Writing songs for the New World

Order? Don't believe me. 

I am inconspicuous, fleeting, hazy;

Unbelievably so.  

Man : 

It is beneath your dignity

To understand that monsters 

Don't breed in dark closets, but inside 

Unlocked rooms, hiding the face under

A mask, while concocting vile bitter

Words to hurt a few harmless sentiments.  

Woman : 

A reversal of roles? Oh, don't tell

Me, don't pretend to be goodytwoshoes

When you very well know 

The monster is you. 

And if I may add, a fat

One too. 

Man : 

Seriously, don't you have a heart,

Or worse, sense? I come back, dusty

Weary, with a heavy heart, unhappy, cold

Since the belief of your existence

Seems like a burdensome truth more

Often than not. 

Woman : 

What compels you to return? Hah,

Poor man, escape to gutters of

Joy, deserts of pleasure, don't let me

Add to your misery. Oh, poor man, go

Away and comfort yourself, who's telling

You to stay, to play this terrible game? 

Go away, poor man, before darkness creeps

Over day. 

Man : 

You incorrigible hag. Sorry, I did not

Mean to abuse, but if you may excuse me,

I intend to read the newspaper now, pass

A couple of toasts when it's ready. 

Okay? 

Woman : 

Back to your old ways, eh? 

[ Phone rings. Man gets up and receives the call. ] 

Man : 

Hello. 

Phone :

Zzz..redemption call..zzz..purgatory..zzz.  

Man : 

Purgatory? Sorry, but there

Is no escape from this hell. 

[ Man puts receiver down. ] 

Woman : 

If I am not mistaken, your

Sense of humour has taken 

A dive for the worse? How oddly 

I resist. Or tell me, have you indulged

Your humble soul in some ungracious 

Practical joke? Poor man, I really think

There are better ways to amuse yourself. 

Man : 

I see. I see brown. Toast, please. 

A couple, thank you. 

Woman : 

Wait, maybe this has to end. 

Do you think humiliation slowly corrodes

My ability to express my contempt in ways,

..Ways more physical than you would

Like to imagine? Do you think I shall 

Take it all gracefully, humbly, like a timid

Mouse in a cage, and not give it back

To you. 

Man : 

I do not wish to sound insouciant.

Nor do I think your rage deserves

My reaction or admonition, but seriously

Your tea is getting cold.   

[ Woman takes a step forward, her eyes a pale shade of crimson. ] 

Woman : 

You lousy fool. What do you

Take me for? Am I any different from

The morself of food you devour, or the piece

Of news you peruse? You implacable cynic, 

I have let you speak your un-mind, all too 

Easily, now is the time, now is the time

For redemption. Sadly, you don't exactly

Play a part in it. You clumsy fiend! 

Man : 

How do you spell ' Yawn' ? With

an E? ' Exuberance' starts with E. 

So does 'Emancipation' and 'Effort' and 'Eee'. 

Jokes apart, I think you are sad. You 

know, as I have been telling you, my sentiments

Are far gracious than yours. You refuse to understand

That your burrow is narrow . That you disappoint

Me. So much, that sometimes this man

Wishes to put his face down the sinkhole, 

To let nobody know that he's weeping. 

Weeping tears of bitterness, for having put up

With your stuck-upidity. 

Woman : 

You think you are clever, do you? 

You know you are clever, do you? 

Now let me show you what Stupidity can 

Really be. 

Man : 

Woman, can't you lie down and 

Sleep for a while? Or better, die. 

[ Woman smiles. Pretty crazily too. ] 

Man : 

Did I just..? 

[ Man smiles and looks down into the newspaper while biting his toast. Meanwhile, Woman picks up a sinister looking knife lying on the table and walks forward. Man keeps on reading the newspaper. ] 

Man : 

Ah, look now. Someone dropped 

A bomb again. The dustbin, ha! Suave, 

If I may use the word. 

[ whistles, while looking into the newspaper, but not really reading it ]

 ..I actually made you smile, now isn't this

The best thing that has happened in a while. 

Maybe, if I had to die, maybe this is the 

Opportune time. I actually made you smile. 

[ sighs ] 

[ Woman drops knife. ] 

Man [ looks up, startled ]  : 

Now, when did you come here, pussy

Feet? [ looks embarassed ] 

Maybe I didn't mean to say all that, maybe..

Listen, you may think I'm too full of negative

Energy, or whatever you may call it, but still..

..I care about you. 

[ Background chorus : Aww. ] 

Woman : 

Bad game, mister. 

Man : 

But, well, yes. 

Don't mind me saying this, but

Your tea's really freezing. 

Woman : 

Why, you miserable being, you

Spoiled the moment. Why don't

You realize that sometimes you

Have to put your foot forward, sometimes

You have to embrace the moment..Are

You so lacking in wit that..

[ Phone rings. ] 

Man [coldly] :

 Not me. 

[ Woman stares at Man for a second; then picks up the receiver.] 

Woman :

 Yes? 

Phone :

 Inferno! Inferno! INFERNO! 

Woman :

 Well, yes. 

[ frowns ]

But..